I have a very long post in which I explain why I am a chaotic mess right now. That post, however, may be better kept as my own private diary considering the kind of crazy I have been over the last month or so. Suffice it to say that in my most recent battles versus chaos, my opponent has won almost every time.
I’m here to say that despite some of the lists/schedules/plans I have put in place to keep me from losing my mind, my mind has been (effectively) lost. Perhaps it was the disgusting food choices over the holidays coupled with exhaustion from travel
and my hair suddenly turning way more gray than it should be at barely thirty years old. Perhaps it was realizing it is a new year and I have spent the last few trying to keep my head above water and I. Just. Couldn’t. Tread. Alone. Anymore. Lemme define alone for anyone wondering, cause yes, I am married and my hubby has been treading as well. MomvsChaos definition of alone: living in a state where you have no family with a ton of small kids at ages that mostly prevent you from attending any mommy and me type functions because one is too old or one is too young. Having a husband working ALL the time probably trying to get over his own issues from a couple of really tough years. No babysitters. No date nights. No vacations. Period.
It’s February. I owe a blog update on my Paleo on a Budget progress for January, but it may take a little while to get back into the grove. In other news, we’ve hired a little bit of help. One day a week, for a handful of precious hours, the littles go to a babysitter. This started last week, and I filled those hours with OAMC and other mommying tasks. It felt good to try to get ahead. Tomorrow when they’re at the sitter’s, I’m going to talk to a professional before this beast gets out of control. And then I will do mommying things until they come home so I can at least feel slightly less chaotic on the outside.
So now, internets, you know. Even this Mom vs. Chaos doesn’t win every battle. But I’m planning to get my groove back…stat.